I could hear the alarm blaring at the corner of the room while my body said, No, not today.
Jayson’s hand was wrapped around me while he snored like a big bear. I opened my eyes and saw the pretty stars and moons stuck to our ceiling; Jayson put them there for Theo.
I laid there for three long minutes. My eyes were open but my mind felt tired. I thought about all the things I had to do today: get Theo ready, get myself ready, hurry to the hospital, check on my patients, finish my charting, answer the messages in my Facebook group for moms… and maybe, just maybe, try to read about starting that digital business the internet keeps suggesting that I must do.
Must. What a big word for a small, tired mom like me.
Suddenly, WAAAAH! Theo started crying in his crib.
The alarm kept yelling too. So now it was me, the alarm, and Theo all shouting in various ways.
I jumped up, feeling the cold London air touch my toes. July in London is supposed to be warm, but today felt sticky and heavy. The air felt like soup. I ignored Theo and rushed to the bathroom. A little crying never hurt anybody, did it?
After I had brushed my teeth and taken a dump, I grabbed Theo. Little man had made a big mess! Some of the mess even stained my satin pajamas
I sighed so loudly, I could swear the neighbors heard me.
Jayson turned on his side. He snored louder, his feet poking out from under the blanket. I looked at him and felt two things at once: love and envy.
You see, Jayson is a smart man. He is a web developer. He works for two companies everyday from our living room. He built a special system to automate his work. He still works hard, but he never looks as tired as me.
I love him for working so we can pay the bills. I also envy him because sometimes, I wish I could sit in my PJs and make money from my laptop, like other tech-savvy professionals in the UK and USA do.
But I am a nurse. I help mothers, babies, and grandmas. I help them feel better when they are sick or sad. It’s important work, but it makes me tired.
And yet, here I am wanting more.
It doesn’t help that I keep reading online that mothers like me should have a side hustle. Start a digital business! The internet shouts at me every day.
I even tried! I started a small Facebook group for moms like me — mothers in London, mothers in New York, mothers anywhere who feel tired, lost, or alone. I wanted to vlog about postpartum struggles, share tips, and help other mothers find their calm.
I tried vlogging for a month. But talking to a camera made me feel silly. Theo would cry in the background or Jayson would need the living room for his Zoom calls. So I stopped the videos but kept the group.
But now the group is so quiet. I feel bad because other moms still join, hoping for help. But I don’t have the energy to help them and work and be a mom and try to build generational wealth.
“Generational wealth” that big, shiny dream. I want Theo to grow up and have enough. I want him and his siblings to look at me one day and say, “Thanks, Mum, you made it easy for us.”
But right now, it’s not easy for me. I’m tired.
I rocked Theo back and forth. He stopped crying and gave me a toothy grin. My PJ was still messy but that smile made it worth it.
I cleaned him up, changed his beddings, dressed him in his tiny dinosaur shirt, fed him and pumped milk before packing my hospital bag and got ready for work. I waved at Jayson who mumbled, “Bye, love”, from under his blanket fort.
At the hospital, my work friend Sara noticed my droopy eyes. She hugged me tight and whispered, “You’re a superhero, you know that?”
I almost cried on her shoulder but I just laughed it off. She gave me a tiny chocolate cake.
“Eat this, it will cheer you up!”
I was so hungry. The air in London felt thicker and heavier now. July’s warm weather can be sticky. I sat by the nurse’s station and unwrapped the cake.
First bite, sweet. Second bite, yummy. Third bite… Wait. Something felt scratchy in my mouth. My lips tingled. My throat started to close up. My tummy twisted.
No, no, no! I thought.
Sara ran to me. I tried to speak but my words were stuck. She grabbed the cake wrapper. “Oh no, there are peanuts! I didn’t know!”
I am allergic to nuts. One tiny peanut can make my whole body panic. My eyes watered as my head spun.
Someone held my hand while I lay on the nurse’s bed. I heard Theo’s giggles in my mind and prayed to see him again that night.
****
I woke up later at the hospital — this time as a patient. Jayson sat beside me. He held Theo who was chewing on his fingers.
Jayson looked at me with soft eyes. “Love, you need help.”
He was right. Not just with allergies or cake but with everything.
I need help balancing my job as a nurse, my life as a mother, my quiet Facebook group, and this big dream of starting a digital business that builds wealth for Theo.
I want to be like other mothers in the UK and USA who are doing it all — working their shifts, growing their online businesses, spending time with their babies but I also need to protect my mind and health.
I know now that asking for help is not weakness, it’s wisdom but where do I go? Who can I ask?
As I lay there with my little boy sleeping on my chest, I made a promise to myself: I will not give up. I will find balance. I will learn how to build wealth without losing my mind or missing Theo’s life-forming moments.
If you are a mother in the UK or USA, a working mom like me who wants more — more freedom, more time, more money for you and your babies — you don’t have to do it alone either.
There’s a place just for us where we can learn how to build a digital business, stay sane, and grow real generational wealth without burning out.
Your Turn, Mama
If you want what I want — balance, freedom, and wealth for yourself and your babies — don’t wait. Other moms are figuring it out already. Don’t be the last to join.
Book your free call today: https://hellomom.woomastas.com
Your future self (and your little one) will thank you for it.
#HelloMom
